I found out the hard way.....

There are some people on earth who have everything planned for them from the very beginning. Now, what exactly is the beginning you ask? Well, the very beginning means well before we were conceived, or well before we were even planned by our parents. The beginning is when the good God above planned our destiny. You know like every detail of our life, whether we are going to be born in a poor household, or a dysfunctional yet rich household, or will we be poor at maths all through our life, or be born Doogie Howser’s, or you know whether life will be smooth sailing and perfect, or some unprecedented Tsunamis will occur every now and then….It’s all a mystery to us until it actually happens.
Well, anyway back to how some people are born with their lives planned perfectly for them. People of this category can take any amount of risks that they like and somehow things will fall in place every single time. One can even say that it is individuals like these that always depend on luck, and every single time their luck favours them. They can jump off a cliff without any harness and will still boomerang back. I think it’s because of people like this that people who have an out of the blue kind of life have to rely completely on hard work. People from this category can never go for an exam, hoping and praying and wishing that a particular question doesn’t come. Because if they do, God knows that that very question will not only show its face in the paper but will hold some 15 marks or so! In other words, luck never ever favours these people, not even on a good day!
So you know when the lucky bastards are sitting in their comfortable little chairs one night before the exams going, “I am going to leave this chapter….I am too bored….” They can sleep a fearless sleep, because nothing from that chapter will ever bother them. But, somewhere on a broken little bed, there is this unlucky bastard, who was planned on the day God woke up on the wrong side of his bed, who is studying till the wee hours of the morning, stuffing himself with way too much coffee that is probably burning a hole in his stomach, and has glued his eyelids open, just so that he can outsmart luck.
Anyway hard work is not everyone’s cup of tea. And if it isn’t yours be very happy because you were not planned on the day God had a bad hair day! So when someone says, ‘Hard work always pays’, you know that it better!

What goes around comes around....or does it?

I used to believe in the fact that all the 'Karma' before it leaves this world, goes back and bites the ass of those who have done wrong in their life. It was logical, the world is round, things have to come back like a boomerang. But, I don't believe that anymore. I think God's changed his ways a little bit. You know probably trying something new. I think nowadays, this Karma thing has become like a game of 'YOUR IT'. I think when one person does something wrong, the bad karma that the person has called upon himself, gets randomly thrown into the direction of any other living being, it could be a nice little boy riding his bicycle, or it could be a little, ugly mouse nibbling on his cheese. So, now this other living being has to pay for the sins of someone else in this world, and once he pays the price the bad karma passes on. So, all the energy in the world is being conserved in this way, and through the misery of all the innocent in the world, God gets to test his hypothesis! Now, the problem here being, my sweet, little, polar bear resembling pomeranian is a victim, and she has a mammary tumor, which is a result of someone else's sin, it could be mine, or it could be your's. I can say this with complete confidence because, I know Candy for 14 years now and she has never gambled, or gone drinking frivolously, or bit someone without any valid, legal reason (she only bit me once on my nose, because I was really pissing her off with an annoying dance, but all this was a very long time ago, so let us all vow to never bring this up!). I hope God reconsiders this plan of his, and realises before it's too late that this experiment is failing miserably. So, for the sake of guilt, that it could, maybe be your sin that has caused my baby this pain, just remember her in your prayers. That is all that I ask.
Although, at this time, I can recollect this one specific line I heard in a movie, that goes something like this;
' The reason why God burdens you with sorrows is not because it is a test, but because he knows you have the strength to endure it'

Beating around the BUSH!

It's been a really long time, and I know that the few readers that I pay have missed me terribly. Afterall they are missing their sole source of steady income! Anyway, so just to update you guys on what has been happening in boredomville. I have started serious contemplation about my future, and I am living a nightmare! I keep thinking about all the entrances that I have to appear for, and how my future at this point in a small way atleast lies in the hands of a cheap, Indian, whose aim in life is to send more and more Indians to a country that chose a monkey as their President! So, I went to the Dilip Oak's Academy(!) to find out about the GRE, and how I can enrol myself into his classes, and I was shocked at what my eyes were forced to see! His entire office of two floors, is decorated with one, universal, singular theme, which is AMERICA!, blue, red and stars, everywhere you look, that is the only thing you will see! And when you sit in his office, along with other shameful monkeys like yourself, and look around, you see, a large, blown up, FRAMED, map of America! Even the bags that he gives the reference material in, is decorated in the same fashion. Another hilarious, as well as shocking fact is, even his own name, DILIP OAK has America in it all the way! The Oak from Dilip Oak has stars, like the ones you see on the American flag, and you can't help but wonder what an arse this man is!
The middle-class families have big dreams, they want opportunities to work for them and they are ready to work hard for that, and this man banks on these dreams. He doesn't impart education, he sells America! And yes, I will be joining his class in the next month, because I also have a dream, and no opportunities here in my country, but that doesn't change the fact that I am going there solely because of the lack of opportunities and not so that I can settle there as a cranky, obese, NRI, who sends money for her family every month. I don't know whether the classes are worth it, and I don't know if Dilip Oak is an inspirational teacher(although all my sources say he very much is NOT), but I do know that unfortunately, this guy, in a smalllll way holds my future in his hands.